Have you ever found yourself always questioning your relationship, wondering if your partner truly cares? That might be a sign of anxious preoccupied attachment. Let’s explore what this attachment style means for your love life.
It’s like this: you crave love and intimacy but often doubt if you’re deserving of it. This leads to a rollercoaster of emotions and behaviours in relationships.
One minute, you’re feeling deeply connected, and the next, even a small thing triggers worry. You start wondering, “Are they losing interest? Did I do something wrong?” It’s a constant swing between intense affection and overwhelming anxiety.
Your mind becomes adept at overanalysing everything. Every word, action, or delay in response gets scrutinized. “Are they upset? Do they really care?” These thoughts take over, leading to a constant need for reassurance.
Anxiously attached individuals tend to show certain behaviours. You might find yourself constantly checking your phone for messages or seeking constant attention from your partner. Relationship issues dominate your thoughts, making it hard to focus on other things.
This attachment style can seriously strain relationships & marriages. The constant need for reassurance might overwhelm your partner, making them feel suffocated or pressured to constantly prove their love. Sometimes the anxiously attached if left unhealed can sabotage relationships leading to loss of friendship, break ups and sometimes divorce.
Sometimes, anxiety leads to actions that push your partner away or perhaps you find yourself setting unsaid expectations which subconsciously set them up to fail? Creating unnecessary drama, picking fights, or distancing yourself pre-emptively become ways to guard against potential hurt.
The good news? You’re not stuck in this cycle forever. Recognizing your attachment style is the first step. Therapy can help you understand these patterns and find healthier ways to manage your feelings and communicate your needs. It’s about finding balance. Trusting yourself and your partner, practicing self-care, and communicating openly are key to a healthy relationship. It’s okay to seek support and take things one step at a time. So get in touch and book your free discovery call with me today….
Being anxiously attached doesn’t define your worth. Understanding this aspect of yourself is a strength that can improve your relationships. You deserve love, and with self-awareness and growth, you can build secure, fulfilling relationships. The key is to learn how to create healthy distance, self-validation, and reassurance when you feel like your partner is far even in moments when you don’t want to. It’s about healthy connection not about testing them.
To summarise…
Anxious Attachments hold negative expectations of partners but to the contrary seek above normal levels of proximity and closeness to romantic partners. Attachment anxiety is associated with lower levels of trust, reciprocation seeking, heightened jealously, poor communication skills and tend to be prone to excessive reassurance and clinging behaviour. Anxious characteristics are associated with engagements in risky sex, more likely to engage in shorter unstable relationships and are less selective in the sexual partners they chose in an attempt to enhance their desire for intimacy. Despite their strong desire for connection, their intense fear of abandonment unintentionally undermines success of relationship stability as often during conflict, anxious individuals tend to escalate conflict due to heightened distress and therefore feel dejected and disappointed in the unavailability of the romantic love they seek.
Whether you want to use the term psychologist, psychotherapist or coach, whichever makes you feel more comfortable in helping to tackle the relationship with yourself and others I am an online relationship therapist which can help you understand behaviours which may be effecting your marriage, relationship or dating habits.
Let’s get out of the maze together!
Book your free 20 minute discovery call now.
Best wishes,
Charlie.
Psychologist, Therapist, Coach based in Dubai providing global online therapy to those in need.
We don’t need to hurt.
#relationship expert
